Interstellar Cognition

I stopped abruptly. Dead halt at the centre of the garden. Alex had been going on about the time I drew a caricature on his face and didn’t realise I was not next to him until he turned to his left, expectant of a yes from me. He looked back to see a look on my face that immediately made him burst out laughing. The lower part of my right cheek twitched uncontrollably. My eyes seemed devoid of emotion but constantly staring at something. Alex followed my gaze but availed no answer to my sight. “Bro, you okay?”

I kept looking at the tree in front of me. Well, the image definitely formed on the back of my retina but my mind did not really process it. The image was not clear. Like a trippy filter from Instagram, the tree in front of me changed textures and colours. But I realised why I was not walking anymore. The same tree had done a full 360, before coming back to it’s orignal position, still distorted in it’s effects. I responded to Alex finally, “Fuck”

I caught up-to him and we went inside.

As a psychonaut, I had felt shifting cognitions in a lot of my trips. As I begin to float into a plane different than the one we feel everyday, I am unsure of where my journey will lead me. Time always dissociates first.

Sometimes I go in feeling like an animal. Animal not in the primal sense but the intensity of my desires. A freak in nature as many would advocate. But i return a child. Humbled by my journey, relaxed by my perceptions. And others, I go in hesitantly. A nervousness in my movement. An edgy trot. I am a child then. I ask for questions to answers I already possess before trying to learn what i don’t know. Then, as I steer through this altered state of space-time around me, I come out fierce. A befitting result to an opposite beginning, I’d concur. Vibe. It is impossible for me to recall how many times I’ve used that word. For people like us, trying to channel our consciousness and constantly working on unlocking beyond the mental system put in place by whatever entity you’d like to believe, this word is pertinent in vocabulary. And that’s what these trips were. A journey through different vibes. Sometimes a bright sunshine over mesmerizing mountains, full of green and orange. And at times, an empty vacuum. Dark and claiming in its nature. But every time there is a revelation. It might not be directly evident but as the time comes to take off my spacesuit, I suddenly become aware of my immediate neighbourhood. I smell, I hear, I see and then I realise. I am taking something away.

The moment I sparked the joint, I felt what I keep feeling through my trips. The shift in cognition. The vibe change. Outside in the garden, I was navigating through a meteor belt, trying to catch an escaping energy of sorts. Practicing to make sense. As I maneuvered in my mind for control, I had taken on the heavy, a rather dark vibe. It stayed with me as I had crushed the boom of charas and heated the tobacco and then made the mix to roll the joint. I had done all of that without thought and that realisation hit me as I took my second drag. All through the process my mind was devoid of an exterior impression. I was still dodging meteors. But now, I was catapulted to the present.

The flashing lights stopped and somebody switched on the tubelight. A roar of disapproval came from the crowd. I was too fucked to say anything. There were about forty people before me but there wasn’t a single face I could see. An inward spiral replaced their facial features. I turned to see Alex staring at a painting. I called for him and gave him the doob. His face untangled before my eyes. He smiled when I smiled. I looked back at the crowd. A phone was missing and the owner was as Alex said, losing her shit. “That’s why the lights are on.” I knew the music would stop now. And the moment my ears would stop hearing the repetitive beats, my mind would lose balance. I knew it would be temporary because I was an experienced psychonaut but I would prefer to have my mind always recognize the pattern, so I stay in sync. My prediction came true and music stopped. My vibe changed again. “We should’ve gone to Sai’s place and blasted. What the fuck?” Alex said. But he was not actually angry or frustrated. He too was a veteran. So I knew that he had not started drifting off course or met with an evil interstellar entity. It was just banter. But a familiarity in his comment brought me to a new place again. I became instantly comfortable with the absence of the music. And that’s when I saw her.

All the noise and commotion drowned in an unrealistic maner. All faces still mandalas, except hers. Maybe a whole minute passed before I took my eyes off of her. I looked down and a gush of embarrassment seeped in. Ew, I hope she did not see me. In all my journeys of revelations, I might have come close to an enlightenment or a psuedo perception of complete understanding but never have I felt what I felt at this view. It was not just beauty. Yes, one would admire this beauty,no doubt. But in my state, I saw her aura. Preposterous, all intellectuals would jump on me. But I sensed her radiate an energy which felt so pure that I wanted to know her instantly. And as my introspection lingered, another recognition hit me. My eyes widened and I felt a sudden cool. The temperature had not changed around me, but as the vibe transcended over, the rejuvenation made itself clear. I had just caught the energy I was traveling the far reaches of the space dimension for. It was not going to be some spiritual ascendancy or a cosmic sized revelation. It was just going to be an opportunity for a new correlation. I did not want to meet her, I needed to. It was not based on my mere eye’s perception anymore, it was my vast mind’s conclusion. This was one of those rare trips where the heart materialised in my brain. It longed to be one with this new found effervescence if I may. The scenario had gone back to original as my mind lost in this fairytale, with this winged goddess at the centre of this story.

“Loud music and those fucking lights, I think we are back” That meant Alex had been traversing through his own complex structures. I breathed heavily and decided what I had to take away from this trip. I walked to her, the pink of her dress lit up as the lights flashed. But the black skirt made her attire holistic in ways I could not explain. The vibe felt perfect.

I said Hi.